Friday, August 6, 2010

Not forgetting.....Not dwelling

Today while I was at Home Depot, the cashier asked about my tattoo. "I like your tattoo" she said. "Thanks" I responded. "Who's footprint is it?" "Oh, its my sons". "How old is he?" "Actually the reason I have this tattoo is because he only lived three days." "Oh I'm SO sorry!" she replied. "Thats ok, It makes me happy that you asked, It makes me remember." .... Its a hard thing, death, especially when no one understands it. If my tattoo had been for a grandparent or something I wouldn't have had to explain it at all. No one would ask "how old is your grandma?" And so the conversation about the tattoo would most likely end there, but as soon as I say "my son" it just opens the door for questions. Which in all honesty, I am glad for. I actually feel bad for the people that ask the question because they don't know whats about to hit them. I however have no problem talking about it, because its easy to forget someone that is no longer around, but not if people are always asking about them. Im glad people ask.

The last few weeks have been really good. Crista and I have been fighting a lot less. Which has taken a lot of the stress out of our relationship. We finally (with a lot of blessings from others!) paid off the last of Joshua's medical bills and are almost caught up on our other bills. We made the decision to not try to have a baby, but to not try to stop it form happening if it is Gods will. So Crista stopped using birth control which actually doesn't even matter because when she got pregnant with Joshua she was on birth control and it didn't even work. And we also set a time line as to when we want to be out of her Grandma's house. We are hoping to be out of here in 6 to 9 months. After we buy a second car the next process is to find a place to live. I am super excited to be out of here, Its too stressful because there are so many people here and we just don't have enough privacy. So I am very excited about that.

Also my parents are moving to Tyler Texas. This is a bitter sweet thing for me, on one hand I am super excited for the opportunity for them, but on the other Its going to be hard to be here with out them. Also my sister is planing on moving to Vermont in the fall. Crista and I will be the only ones left here from my immediate family. I am sad but change is good, It helps us not get stagnant.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Matt,
    I know Shawnee and I aren't your immediate family but we will be voer there before too much longer.